The Great Linguistic Meltdown: When ‘Hu’ Replaced ‘Human’ and Other Absurdities

Text to speech

Ah, the 21st century, a time when we’ve not only landed rovers on Mars but also managed to complicate the simple act of speaking. Nowadays, it’s not just about what you say, but how your eyebrows arch, the twitch of your left nostril, and whether Mercury is in retrograde when you say it. Because, let’s face it, someone, somewhere, is just waiting to be offended by the way you breathe.

Enter my friend. Singular entity, mind you, not a collective. The other day, they were deep in prayer, and as I joined in with a sincere “amen,” they looked as if I’d slapped them with a wet fish. Why? Because “men” is in “amen.” According to their profound wisdom, men are the root of all problems. So, their solution? Say “a day.” Yes, you heard it right. “A day.” I guess mornings just became holier.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Believe what you want, say what you want, but for the love of all things caffeinated, let’s not turn language into a jigsaw puzzle where half the pieces are missing.

A quick history nugget for those who care: The word “amen” is as ancient as grandma’s cookie recipe. It’s a steadfast word, meaning “so be it” or “let it be so.” But no, let’s get hung up on the “men” part and toss thousands of years of linguistic history out the window.

Let’s dive deeper into this rabbit hole of linguistic gymnastics:

 

  1. Human? Nah, that’s “hu” or “huthem.” Bless you!
  2. Mention? More like “tion.” Which sounds like a failed magician’s spell.
  3. Menace? Just “ace.” Which is ironically positive.
  4. Menstruate? They’ve decided on “struate” or “itstruate.” I swear it sounds like the latest app everyone’s downloading.
  5. Comment? Now it’s “comdayt.” Because why not?
  6. And here’s a nonsensical gem for you: If “men” are replaced with “day,” does that mean “menopause” becomes “daypause”? Sounds like a midday nap to me!

 

It’s evident our education system missed a beat somewhere. If there’s intelligent life out there, they’re probably watching us, munching on cosmic popcorn, and thinking, “Earth’s got a new comedy show.”

To wrap up, language is our bridge to understanding. It’s meant to connect, not divide. And if my views make you want to scream into your pillow, by all means, do so. But remember, just because someone’s having a meltdown in the middle of a store doesn’t mean we all need to drop everything and join in.

I am a human being. Amen! Or is it “A day!”? Nah, I’m old school. It’s amen for me.

Leave a Comment